I'm wondering what else is going to happen today.

Lauren locked herself in the bathroom this morning. She is fascinated with taking off her clothes/diaper and sitting on the potty. She normally doesn't *go*, but she sure loves to sit. Anyway, she closed the door and locked it and I couldn't get it open. Had to call my BIL (thank God he was home) and was there within 2 minutes and took the locking mechanism off the door and got her out. She and I were both calm but Joey was hysterical. I think he thought she was going to be in there forever, poor thing. BIL fixed our lock so if anyone gets locked in again, I can easily pick it.

Then I *finally* got us out of the house to run some errands, and as soon as I shut the door behind me I realized I didn't have my keys. It is threatening to rain here too. I picked up Lauren and the three of us walked the 1/2 mile to my BIL's house to ask him to come bail us out again. Luckily it didn't rain on us.

However while we were walking I noticed a man in his 60's shouting at a storekeeper to go back in, he'd be fine. As soon as the man went back in, he yelled across the street to me "are you in a hurry?". I wanted to say, "I'm almost running with a 30 lb. toddler in my arms with another small child and it's about to rain on our heads, don't I fucking LOOK busy?". But I didn't. He's probably someone's grandpa. So I said, "Yes sir, I am. Do you need some help?". To which he replied that he did, could I walk him to his house. Which was all the way back the way we came. Argh. Don't trouble the storekeep, NO, ask me! I haven't had enough today! But I refrained from being evil and smiled and walked him to his house.

When I finally made it to where I needed to be, they had just closed.

Then I decided to run to the grocery store, which had about 6,000 people in it.

I'm not going anywhere for the rest of the day. Homemade pizza tonight for dinner. Yum.

It's cold and rainy outside and I love it. I'm in my sweats (yes, again!) and the house is dark. I have a big pot of soup on the stove (turkey from last night's meal) and my pumpkin spice candles lit. I feel so homey.

Today is my mother and my father's birthday. They were born one year apart. Happy birthday M & D.

I give My Big Fat Greek Wedding two thumbs up. WAY up. I haven't been that entertained in a while. What a fun evening. We walked in the theater and there was a couple there getting their freak on. Probing tongues, gyrating hips and everything. I loudly asked, "where would you like to sit?" at which point they beat feet. I was sorry to ruin their moment, but I needed to sit my fat butt down. We determined they were one of those couples who like to get caught in the act. They must have known the movie was starting and people would be coming in.

Anyway, the movie was just great. I thought it was hilarious, and laughed through most of the movie (as did the entire audience). Now I'll admit it doesn't take much to amuse me, Jay and Silent Bob can make me pee my pants, but this movie was just too funny. It was a nice, sweet, romantic movie. Go see it. You'll be glad you did. I'd actually go see it again, that's how much I enjoyed it.

Today has special meaning for me. It's my grandfather's birthday. He would have been 81 today. Happy Birthday Grandpa. I love you and miss you so much it hurts.

Today is also the 7th anniversary of the day I started working with the woman who would turn out to be my best friend in the whole wide world. Funny, we are heading out to the movies tonight to see My Big Fat Greek Wedding. It's like an anniversary date, ;o). I love you Biggie, and very thankful to have you in my life.

The kids and I went to DH's ice hockey game last night. Oh. My. God. I had completely forgotten what a total hottie my husband is in uniform. And the skates....he stands about 3 inches taller in his skates (I have a thing for tall men). He's got the most incredible grey eyes, and they are very prominent even beneath his face mask. I actually felt my knees go weak watching him skate. It made for a fun evening when we got home and everyone got settled, LOL.

Hockey is a big part of our family. DH and I actually met at a hockey game (Devils-Capitals) back in early 1990. I had season tickets with 3 of my girlfriends, and he was there with his friend who is a Devil's fan (DH is a diehard Ranger's fan). My one friend happened to turn around and noticed him because he looked just like her cousin. So of course we all turned around and were staring at the two of them. They noticed us noticing them, and at the end of the game we all stood around talking. We told them we were going to Houlihan's (as we did after every game) and asked them if they wanted to join us.

We had a fun time at the restaurant with them, and we wound up closing the place. My friend and his friend were off exchanging numbers, and he walked me to my jeep. He asked for my phone number and I said no. I explained to him that I had just started a relationship that was really important to me and I wasn't looking to meet anyone else. He was just as laid back then as he is now and took it in stride.

That began a friendship that lasted two years. There was always an attraction there, but he and I were both involved with other people on and off during that time. It seemed like the timing was just never right. I used to see him weekly at a local bar we all used to hang out at, and we always had a great time. He took every opportunity to remind me that he'd treat me like a queen if I gave him the chance.

In June of 1992 my relationship with Ray ended for good. I knew it was over. I wound up going to Bob's softball game the very next night, and we've been together ever since. We moved in together in December of 1993, were engaged in Novemer of 1994 and married in December of 1996. This year we'll celebrate our 6th anniversary. For the most part, he really did keep his promise and treats me like a queen. I am very fortunate. I chose wisely. And he still makes my knees go weak. How cool is that?

My babies are asleep and I'm all alone. DH is at a wedding in New York. I chose not to go because I just didn't want to leave the kids for that long (another no kids wedding). I don't know the people getting married. And it wasn't going to be a smoke-free affair. The thought of spending 5+ hours away from my kids to be with 200 strangers in a smoke filled room held little appeal.

So I'm sitting here, and I'm SO cozy. I have my sweats on, because it's freaking cold! It's August and it's cold. Anyway, it's chilly and raining and yet I feel so comfortable. Two of my freebie magazines came today (I am the queen of free magazines) and I started reading the Family Circle. It has so many yummy sounding things in it. Like Skirt Steak with Mushroom Sauce (what exactly is skirt steak? is it like flank steak?) and Pork Tenderloin with Mashed Sweet Potatoes. They also have a recipe for Risotto with Peas and Prosciutto that sounds really good. Except I'm scared of risotto. All that standing and stirring and hoping for just the right amount of creaminess. It's a little intimidating. But I just may try it.

Oh, speaking of food, DH worked last night and got home late. When we got up this morning he told me how delicious my dinner was the night before. Hee! He normally doesn't comment on my food because it's all usually pretty good but this one made some sort of impression on him. Guess I shouldn't have thrown away the recipe after all.

I'm off to go watch a PPV movie. Have a good evening y'all.

Did you ever find a recipe that sounded really good and you really looked forward to trying it? And you miraculously happen to have all the ingredients on hand? And then it turns out like crap? So disappointing. It actually wasn't that crappy, it just didn't live up the expectations I had for it. I made a recipe that I found from the Cooking Light forums, and it just wasn't that great. It took a good bit of time to prepare and necessitated (is that a word?) me using just about every kitchen gadget I own (grater, garlic press, lemon zester, dry & wet measuring cups and spoons and vegetable knife, if you must know). It just wasn't worth the effort. The recipe was called Chicken Paillardes with Pasta and Peas in Lemon Sauce. Sounds good, no? Not so much.

*****
My MIL came by today. I almost fell on the floor. We live less than a 1/2 mile from them and they can go weeks upon weeks without calling or coming by to see the kids. When they see the kids it's because *I* make sure it happens. And I haven't made that happen in two weeks because MIL pissed me off by not calling or coming by to wish Lauren a happy birthday. It would have bothered me anyway, but it bothers me even more because if I didn't call MIL on her birthday, I'd never hear the end of it. I really don't know what gives with them. They make VERY little effort to see their grandkids (my kids, they seem to see a lot of my niece). It really makes me mad because my mom would give anything to spend time with them. I know if she were here she'd be over every week. It's so frustrating to live so close to them and they show no interest. I keep telling myself it's because they're in "parent mode" (my BIL just turned 17), but it's still no excuse. I get tired of always having to be the one to make the effort.

*****

Friday Garage Sale Finds.......I gave each of the kids four quarters to buy something. They both got really cool wooden puzzles for .50 cents each and came home and put their remaining quarters in their piggy banks. I got some white garden fencing for $1. Tomorrow seems like a big yard sale day so I'm hoping I score some things I can sell on eBay.

The kids and I took a trip to Trader Joe's today. I really like that store. They have such good prices on certain things (like whole wheat pasta and couscous). They have pretty decent prices on frozen fish too. Except I don't eat sea critters. Blech. But I'm a good wife and buy it for my dear husband. I make him cook it though.

*****

I also did a taste test tonight. I get called every 3-6 months and go in and taste something. The last one was a no-bake dessert. That one paid $75 cash. This one only paid $30, but I only wound up being there about a half hour so it was well worth my time. I'd tell you what I tasted but I'd be breakin the rules, LOL. You'll just have to wait till it comes on the market. I'll just tell you that sample #3 kicked ass and #4 made me want to vomit a little. Nasty, NASTY aftertaste.

*****

I was thinking tonight about a friend of mine. She's overweight, like me. I think our builds are fairly similar except she's a little taller than me. As my DH would point out, just about EVERYONE is taller than me. He sure loves those short jokes. Anyway, as heavy as she is, she still feels attractive. She doesn't hide under big tents, she still flirts, she still feels good about herself. I really wish I had that attitude.

*****

I really want to see My Big Fat Greek Wedding. John Corbett stars in it, and he makes my heart beat a little faster. I've loved him since those Chris in the Morning days on Northern Exposure. When his hair is long and he's got his beard, he could really pass for Jesus Christ though. Joey Fatone (think 'N Sync) is in the movie too, and though I'm embarrassed to admit it, I *heart* Joey Fatone. Hopefully I'll get a chance to see it.

WEIGH IN

I weigh 200 lbs. 5 pounds less than I did last week. I'm sure most of it is water (though AF did arrive this morning) since it was my first week and all.

I'm proud of the week that I had. It certainly wasn't perfect. The weekend even involved a few buffalo wings and a Dr. Pepper. But you know what, I would feel seriously deprived if I cut out everything I loved.

I made a lot of good choices this week. I drank plenty of water every day. I've eaten a lot more veggies this week. I pretty much stuck to portions. I didn't binge on anything. And I didn't feel deprived either. I made sure I had things in the house that could satisfy whatever craving I was having.

I guess it worked. On to week #2. I'm sure I won't see as significant a loss this week, but that's ok. My next goal is to get under 200 (and stay there).

NOTE TO THE HOT GUY IN THE JEEP WE PARKED NEXT TO TODAY

Your jeep does not have an invisi-shield around it. When you pick your nose and examine it, EVERYONE CAN SEE YOU.

Gah. What is it with men and picking their nose in the car? Pick it in private, baby.

Whelp, I've got Halloween covered now too.

Joey's Captain Feathersword costume should be arriving from Australia in just a few weeks. I got it cheap from eBay. I love eBay, have I mentioned?

I just ordered Lauren's costume. She's going as a Pittsburgh Steeler's cheerleader. DH (a diehard Steeler's fan) wanted to get her this outfit last year but it was too late in the season. So I ordered thinking she could wear it for Halloween and just about every Sunday thereafter, LOL. I also plan on using my free 8X10 at the Picture People and having their picture taken in their Steeler's garb. Then I'll surprise DH with the picture for Christmas.

We're also having our second annual kids Halloween party this year. Everyone came last year and brought something. I made a big pot of potato soup and a big crock of chili. And because I'm an evil sort of friend, I convinced my best friend that it would be a hoot for her to make THIS CAKE. Please, go check it out. It is truly gross and frighteningly life-like, LOL. *I* thought it was funny, and it was just perfect. It was quite delicious too. I'll be on a mission to see what other kinds of gross things I can find for this year.

Am I the only freak who is thinking about Christmas presents already?

I had someone lay hands on me to heal me today. I wish it worked. I pulled something in my back today right before we walked into our friend's local Italian specialty shop. Our friend's father owns the business and he's a sweet old man. But he honestly believes he can heal people. After he prayed over me, it took everything in me to walk out without hobbling so I wouldn't hurt his feelings.

When we were in the car, I turned to Bob and said, "You know, Mr. L****** really believes he can heal people". He replied, "no he doesn't, he believes that God heals people through him, and if you're not healed it's because you don't believe in God".

Humph. Like I said, he's a sweet old man. He feeds my kids fresh cooked chicken cutlets and fresh wet mozzarella. He loves to pray with me and tell me how beautiful my kids are. He gives them quarters to put in the gumball machines and get the super bouncy balls out.

I had the kids dressed in their Hawaiin outfits today. What a sight. Joey looked at me, and while nodding his head up and down said, "I AM a handsome dude". Yes he was. Handsome and as bright as he could be in day-glo teal and orange. Leave it to my SIL to buy him something truly obnoxious. Lauren's outfit was obnoxious too though it was mainly the print, not the colors.

But the best part of my day had to be watching Bob and the kids dancing to George Clinton (some good funk music) in those crazy outfits. It made my heart smile. Took my mind off my bad back for a few too. ;o)

Caffeine withdrawal headaches suck.

I guess today would be considered Day 2 OP if I were following WW. Which I'm not. Sort of. I mean there was that whole dinner thing last night. But I only had one glass of wine (designated driver and all) and I only ate half of my entree. And I had a buttload of mixed greens (arugala and radicchio to be exact).

I had all good intentions to lift weights with Bob tonight, but something unexpected happened and my mind is elsewhere. I probably should still be lifting, but I'm worried and I just didn't want to start it off wrong. I wanted to be in a good frame of mind.

I made couscous tonight for dinner. Holy Mother of God. It was everywhere. DH probably cleaned up millions of tiny grains from under Lauren. Yummy stuff that couscous. I'm certain it would be even better if it were drenched with Beef Tenderloin with Roasted Shallot Sauce (I omit the bacon).

More pictures...can you tell I'm thrilled to have my camera back?


Lauren blowing out her candle with my mom on Friday night.


Joey and my gram in South Carolina (taken in April).

I'm starting today. I got up and weighed myself. I weigh 205 lbs. I'm 5'3" (barely). I have exactly two pairs of shorts that fit me, and one pair of pants. If I continue on this path I will have no clothes to wear this winter. I don't want to go buy more.

I want to do what I did last year. I focused on eating first. The exercise came once I had some control with the eating. That's my main focus right now, to feel in control. I would eventually like to start lifting weights with DH again. I felt so good physically when we were doing it. I will let you know how I'm doing, and please...ask me. Keep me accountable. Give me a good old ass kicking if I need it.

I went back onto fitday.com (something I used last year), and started logging again. I actually ate breakfast this morning. I'm going out to dinner tonight, but that's ok. There will always be dinners and special events. I just plan to eat sensibly. I don't have to eat the entire dinner. I'll order a salad to make sure I get some greens in.

I have a friend who has had amazing progress with WW (waves hi to D!), and I plan on leaning on her for some extra motivation. Seeing how wonderful she feels is certainly inspiring.

All I can do is try. It's better than not trying at all.

Gram

My grandma fell and broke her hip on Lauren's birthday. They were unable to operate until last night because she takes a blood thinner. They gave her medication to counter that and they finally operated on her Sunday night. It was a long operation because the break was pretty bad.

Apparently she had a rough time of it when she woke up. My sweet little southern grandmother who doesn't ever swear cussed out everybody who came in contact with her. They finally had to put restraints on her because she was trying to bite people and was in danger of hurting herself and others. I am so glad I wasn't there to see it.

My mom said she was shooting daggers at the one nurse and told her, "I hope you die and go to hell". Oh my. Another nurse asked her to take a deep breath and she told her, "I don't have to do a god damn thing you tell me to do". My cousin told her she loved her and my gram said, "shut up, you're nothing but a god damn liar".

If you ever met my gram, you would know how totally out of character it was for her to do that. I'm sure if my family ever tells her how she behaved, she'll be on the phone to her preacher asking for forgiveness, LOL.

I'm just really glad I wasn't there to see it. Once again, I hate living so far away from my family, but I don't know that I could have handled it. I am my grandmother's baby, and I don't think even I would have been spared her wrath. I know it was just the drugs, but I know it would have been horrible to see her so out of control.

The Party

Lauren's birthday was wonderful. We had her birthday party on Saturday and it was a beautiful day. I decided to have it catered figuring it would only be about $50 more than having a BBQ, and we wouldn't have to cook. I ordered chicken cordon blue, pasta vodka, cavatelli & broccoli, eggplant rollantine and veal & peppers. Oh, and a big bowl of tomato, onion and mozzarella. The food was so good, and I'm glad since we're going to be eating it for the third day in a row today. I ordered a photo cake from our local grocery store and put that fairy photo of Lauren on it. It was adorable. We had about 45 adults and 15 kids. It was crazy, but all in all it was a lovely day.

At one point, around 7:00 ish, I turned to my SIL and said, "why isn't anyone going home?". The party only started at 4:00 p.m. but I think I had started to come down from all the party preparation and I couldn't wait to just be alone. People stayed till near 11:00 p.m. so I guess it was a good party! I think the many bottles of Pinot Grigio helped, LOL.

Well, he showed up. Late. With no excuses. He still sucks.

I'm probably going to be pretty scarce around here for the next couple of days. My mom and SD are flying in tomorrow and Lauren's birthday is Friday (the party is Saturday). My computer is in my bedroom, which mom and SD will be staying in.

I still have a gozillion little things to do, but I feel pretty good. Bob did most of the downstairs (man can that guy vacuum!) and I'm way ahead of the game. Joey and Lauren are going to MIL's to go swimming tomorrow for a little bit and I plan on finishing up everything else that needs to be done.

I am a picture takin fool. I'm so happy to have my camera back. For your viewing pleasure.......

Joey:



And Lorna Doone:



And because I can't get enough of the color of her hair:

I'm sitting here boiling right now. My dad was supposed to be here at 9:00 a.m. to see the kids and give Lauren her birthday presents. It's 10:00 a.m. I got up early, got showered early and did a bunch of stuff because this morning was going to be crazy anyway. And he's not here. Hasn't called either, and I'll be damned if I'm going to call him.

He hasn't seen the kids since April. I just talked to him for the first time since April about a week and a half ago. And that was only after I sent him some pictures of the kids.

I can guess the reason why he isn't here too. He said he wanted to bring Lauren her birthday presents, and I told him it wasn't necessary to get her anything. They don't have any money, and I know it (although they seem to have plenty of money to buy my nephew things, but that's a whole nother story....my dad never seemed to cough up child support but my sister got piano lessons and a piano). I guarantee you he asked my step-monster for money to buy Lauren presents and she said no. He's embarassed, and instead of just making up an excuse why he doesn't have them, or being honest, he just freaking disappears.

I'm pissed because my kids are disappointed, they were expecting him. I'm pissed because I'm really busy this week and was squeezing him in as it was. I'm pissed because I got up early to get myself and the kids and the house ready before he got here. He sucks. He really, really, really sucks.

Yea! My digital camera is back. For those of you who read my post at YAAPS, here is a picture of Beezy.

I am starting to get kind of nutty. Mom and step-dad are flying in on Wednesday and I'm realizing just how much cleaning I need to do.

I did cross one thing off my list. I just painted the trim in my kitchen. It was so gross it wouldn't come clean, so I decided just to go ahead and paint it. I really despise painting. I wish I was more like my SIL, she loves it. Loves the whole thrill of choosing new colors, prepping everything and then finally painting. It's a huge PITA to me. And I sure didn't prep anything. I kept picking the dog hairs out of the brush as I went along. Hey, at least it *looks* clean now.

I'm putting up my Kitchen To Do list in the hopes it'll make me a little more accountable and I'll get off my ass and do something tonight when the kids go to sleep. DH isn't around, he spent the morning putting up crown molding as well as trimming out the new window he put in the dining room. He got called into work and he's happy. He's a little disappointed that he's missing the other softball games (his team was eliminated yesterday), but the prospects of double-time and tomorrow off (if he works late enough) were too good to pass up. So off he went.

On my to-do list, in no particular order....

Kitchen

wash down cabinets
wash curtains
clean the mini-blinds
clean the cobwebs (don't know if there are any, but I noticed some in the dining room while helping DH put up the molding)
scrub the stove
wash down the appliances
clean off the top of the fridge
clean the inside of the fridge
clean the unidentifiable goop off the bottom shelf of pantry
clean the garbage can (am I the only person who does this?)
clean out the small drawer
vacuum & mop the floors

Scored a nice cookbook for 25 cents at a garage sale yesterday that seems to be going for around $10 on eBay. Cool!

I would love to know why Joey turns up his nose at half the things I cook yet he'll gladly eat his boogers.

Well HELLO, Kitty!

Hee! For $24 + shipping, THIS could be yours. What will they think of next?

That was not a bright idea.

I thought it would be nice to have pictures taken of Lauren for her 2nd birthday. I also thought that it would be nice to have pictures of Lauren, Joey and my niece Isabella. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Lauren saw the backdrop come down and went ballistic. So much for that idea. I do have a really cute picture of Joey and Isabella though.

This weekend is the Slattery Memorial Softball tournament that my DH has played in since he was a fetus. Maybe not that long, but close. I have come to really hate this weekend. Even though I know it's ALWAYS the first weekend in August, I wind up having to plan things around it. We've gone on vacation only to have DH return home to play in it. It starts Friday night and ends Sunday afternoon.

Two years ago this weekend I was trying my damndest to will Lauren out of my body. I thought that would be fair. I've given up this weekend for ten years now, I thought that it would be poetic justice to have her born during the tournament. It was not to be. My girlfriend Amy had her daughter Madeline on August 4 during the tournament. I can remember being jealous, LOL. I teased him all through the pregnancy saying that I was going to make sure she was born that weekend. Little stinker couldn't have come when she was due, she HAD to be late!

Anway, I will barely see DH this weekend and I get all sorts of resentful even though I know I shouldn't. He works really hard (really hard) and he really looks forward to this weekend all year long. The man is always pushing me to go stroll around the bookstore for an hour or do something to have a little time to myself. He's always willing to do things with the kids. So I guess I shouldn't deny him his one weekend. It's a tradition for him, and one he'll hold onto as long as possible. I heard a rumor that this is the last year the tournament will be held and believe me, all digits and appendages are crossed.

What a nice morning. Was showered and out of the house by 9:00 a.m. Hit the craft store and then went grocery shopping. We spent the rest of the morning outside. It's absolutely gorgeous outside. The kids played while I sat in the lounge chair in the shade and read a magazine. Had my heart leap out of my chest when Lauren called to me and said, "Mama! Wook, I tall!" as she was standing on top of the slide. Every time she went down the slide she'd yell, "watch mama!". Joey was covered with so much sand that he looked like a breaded cutlet. What a fun morning.

I have a london broil marinating for dinner (taking bets that DH will have to work since I already got it ready). Also making something called "Daddy's Fried Corn & Onions" from the allrecipe site. It's basically what it sounds like, cut the kernels off of the cob, and fry em in some butter with sweet vidalia onions. Hope it's good, it sounds yummy.