Joey has his first t-ball game tonight. I can't wait. He looks so dang cute in his uniform. It's pretty comical to watch too, organized chaos. No one knows what they're doing, and no matter how many times Coach Bob (DH) and Coach Gary try to tell them that the entire TEAM doesn't need to chase the ball, that's exactly what happens. As team mother, I get to hand out hot dogs tonight. I think God's having a little fun with me. Here chubby girl, let me put you in the face of temptation and make you serve weiners.

Put me down for two exercise sessions in one day. I don't really consider walking with a friend exercise, but I guess that's what is is. I'm also going to Curves tonight before the game. Nice, I'll be a sweaty mess. "Oh, the team mother??? She's the sweaty one with frizzy hair sneaking bites of hot dog over there".

I am turning into a veggie loving fool. I was supposed to eat steamed green beans tonight, but things got hectic and I didn't feel like snappin all those ends off. So I decided to be even braver than I was the other night, when I ate zucchini. Tonight I sliced up one leftover zucchini, and about 4 squash . I sauteed them and then added a little S&P and a pinch (or two!) of cayenne. YUM. I can't tell you how many times I've turned my nose up at squash and zucchini. Now I have some new veggies to add to my rotation. Who knows, maybe one day I'll even eat spinach. But probably not!

I exercised 3 times today. Not on purpose or anything. I did the 1 mile WATP tape, and figured if I couldn't get to Curves, I would hop on the treadmill for a half hour too. Fortunately I did get to go to Curves. Then we decided to walk to the fire house to get Beezy's rabies shot. It's not far, probably somewhere between 1/2 to 1 mile roundtrip. But I probably earned at least 1 AP, thanks to my daughter who RAN the entire way, LOL.

I just had to share this....I *RAN* today on the treadmill. I'm not quite sure what posessed me, but I did it for one whole minute. I'm still amazed by how much I can do now, in just a few short months. I've really only been working out since Feb. 26, and at that point, 10 minutes on the treadmill was difficult for me (which is why I'm so glad I started with Curves, I think it's excellent for women just beginning an exercise program). I was so impressed with myself, I did it again during the last minute before I started my cool down. I also spent a few minutes working on my bi's and tri's. I'm seeing progress in my arms...they're still quite jiggly but they're improving. I used the dress I bought for the wedding as my guide. The arms were a little tight when I bought it, nothing that would prevent me from wearing it, but I could feel it. I tried the dress on for my SIL yesterday and it felt much better. I've really been trying to focus on my arms so I'll feel more comfortable in short sleeves this summer.

The taco salad last night was gross. I used 93% lean ground beef which is just fine with the meatball recipe I use, but nas-tay cooked as taco meat. Oh well. I'm looking forward to tonight's dinner too (and I'm being brave and eating zucchini!). Hopefully it isn't as disappointing!

What a beautiful day. I got to sleep in today (until 7:30, what a treat!). Bob had a softball game this morning and I took the kids. I think I've mentioned, he plays on the same team as my ex-boyfriend and all the guys I hung around with in high school. There is no animosity between the ex and I, he and Bob get along really well so that's never an issue. But I've always felt self conscious going because all these guys knew me when I was 115 lbs. Well today was a little different. I'm not skinny by any means but I definitely didn't feel as self conscious as I have the past two years. It was nice, and good to see all of them again.

A little later today we're heading over to my BIL's and SIL's to see their new puppy since we haven't had the chance yet. Then we're coming home to Taco Salad for dinner. I've been craving it since Thursday when I read it on the WW boards.

I have to run over to a friend's house today to see another friend who is there visiting. I cleaned out my closets and I'm giving her a bunch of clothes that don't fit me anymore (we were similar sizes and she said she'd love to have them). It was so hard to pull the stuff off the hangers. I kept thinking, "but what if I need them again, then I'll have nothing...". But that's the point right? I hope to never need them again, and I'm going to work hard to make sure that doesn't happen. It was still hard though. All those What Ifs kept running through my head.

And finally, I have to get to the grocery store tonight. Here are this week's meals:

Sunday: Taco Salad
Monday: Chicken Scallopini with orzo, tomatoes and zucchini
Tuesday: Beef Stroganoff with egg noodles and green beans
Wednesday (t-ball practice): Jarred sauce, whole wheat pasta and salad
Thursday: Turkey Tenderloin, baked potatoes, roasted veggies
Friday: Grilled Chicken and grilled veggie kabobs (green peppers, red peppers, mushrooms and onions), couscous for Bob and the kids.
Saturday: Good thing it's my cheat meal, cause we have a wedding to go to!

Had to come back again. We did a little shopping today. I bought a pair of low rider capri's in Old Navy today. In a size 14 (yippee!!!!!). This means when I go shopping again, I'll be searching for a size 12. Twelve, twelve, twelve. Back in November I didn't even fit in the largest size they carry, a 20. I also bought a pair of casual terry gym shorts (I didn't go for the matching hoodie, I just didn't like the way it looked on me). I brought a size XL in the fitting room but when I put them on, they were too big. I had to buy a large. Then since we were right across from it, we went into Victoria's Secrets. I bought underwear in Victoria's Secrets. I FIT IN UNDERWEAR IN VICTORIA'S SECRETS!!!! I haven't shopped in that store in years (and years and years). I got a pair of low rise hip huggers to wear with the capris (my granny panties looked really unattractive poking out), as well as two other pairs. Cool.

Lost 2.4 lbs. for 38.4 total. Yay! I am officially at my half way point and officially in a new decade (sorry Mandi, it's WW lingo I picked up from their message boards, LOL).

Today starts week 16 for me, so it's Measurement's Day!!!

I lost 10 inches this month.

Arms: .5" (or 1" for both arms), 3" total
Waist: 2.5", 8.75" total
Hips: 2", 6.75" total
Thighs: 1.25" (or 2.5" for both legs), 5.50" total
Bust: 2", 7" total

I've lost 31" total since I began counting I week 4. I really wish I had of taken starting measurements!!!

I also have a true hourglass figure. My bust and hips are basically the same, with my waist being 8 inches smaller.

I'll be back later to update on the scale front. No matter what it says, LOOK AT WHAT I'VE DONE!!!! I'm even more proud that I've stuck with something for FOUR MONTHS. How cool is that???!!!

Let me try and sum up what I was trying to communicate yesterday. I need to make the effort place less emphasis on the scale, and more emphasis on my health. I'm doing the right thing, right now. It will take as long as it takes. Like I said, I've never put a timeframe on it, but I have had many days when I felt like I was never going to get there. It's really not about *getting there* though, it's about being healthier overall, and on that front I've made tremendous progress. So if things slow down, if I wind up with weeks that I have gains, in the long run it really doesn't matter. I just need to keep doing what I'm doing. It's working, and it will continue to work because I'm doing the work I need to do to make that happen. None of that probably made any sense either!

I'm telling you, the weeks are literally flying by me. It feels like I blink and it's already Saturday. Friday's always go so fast. I always make another grocery run on Fridays for fresh veggies, I usually run a lot of other errands, Joey has ice hockey tonight and I'll go to Curves. I also want to try to hit the library. I went onto their online database last night and found a bunch of books I want to take out. I also have some to return (I *always* seem to get them back late). Next Saturday we have a family wedding. The following week I head to SC. Before I know it, it'll be mid-May! Joey's preschool closes at the end of May, and I have to say, I can't wait. I'm really looking forward to doing a lot of fun stuff with him this summer before he starts Kindergarten (sob!).

Leslie Sansone kicked my ass this morning. I was being all cocky, feeling in shape and whatnot, so I decided that I didn't need to start with the measly 1 mile walk, I could start with the two mile. Well Leslie showed me. She smiles prettily at you as she kicks your ass.

I don't think I ever mentioned why I chose Fat and Sassy as the name of my blog. Or maybe I have, I'm pretty forgetful. Anyway, it was my pat answer when I was pregnant and people would ask, "How are you feeling?". Fat and sassy!

I feel it still describes me, even though I should probably call it Kinda Chunky and Sassy. Or maybe Plump and Sassy.

I saw a piece on the Today show this morning on how being overweight drastically increases your risks of certain types of cancer. They estimated that 90,000 cancer deaths annually are attributed to obesity. It was timely, as I've been going through days where I feel great about myself, yet still feel like I'm never going to be where I should be. It just drove home the main reason that I finally committed to doing this...it's all about my health. It's all about doing what's within my power to reduce my risks of certain diseases that we have a strong family history of (diabetes, breast cancer and heart disease are the ones that scare me the most). I want to be here to see my children go to college, get married, have babies, be happy.

The show was also timely as it made me realize that I really need to try not to obsess about the scale going up and down so much. Easier said than done, but I really need to make the effort. I have never put a timeframe on my weightloss, I have never said I want to weigh XXX amount by Christmas. Honestly, I didn't do it in the beginning because losing 70-something pounds was just too overwhelming to even think about. I don't do it now because I don't want to put pressure on myself. I'm getting off track.... This morning I realized that I have to start thinking of this as a lifelong way of living. I guess I knew in the back of my mind that if I wanted to maintain any weightloss I have, I can't revert back to eating twinkies and ho-hos when I get to where I want to be. But I guess I haven't been thinking about that very much. Because there are going to be ups and downs along the way, but I *will* eventually get to where I want to be if I keep doing what I'm doing now.

Ack, I just got interrupted with a 10 minute phone call. I doubt I made any sense above as I'm having a hard time making sense of my thoughts and feelings myself. I'll have to come back to it later.

Up, down, up, down. I hate my scale. Joey is off from school this week and one of the perks is that I can exercise first thing in the morning and start my day off right. I was fortunate this morning, Bob called at 8:00 a.m. to let me know he was going to be working late. Normally I don't find out until 3:00 p.m. or so. I got on the treadmill nice and early, deciding ahead of time that I'd spend 45 minutes on it and earn 3 AP's. I felt so good after about 30 minutes that I decided I could do 60 minutes. I worked out with some free weights afterwards too, still only going to count it as 4 pts. total though. Biggie B is being a sweetheart and lending me her 1 and 2 mile Leslie Sansone Walk Away the Pounds videos. I've heard so many good things about the videos from the WW boards, so I'm looking forward to trying them out tomorrow.

I've decided I need to be more accurate in weighing and measuring and being honest with my journal. I still journal every day, and most times I journal *before* I've actually eaten the food. My journal is completed for today already with the exception of checking the boxes for my water and veggie intake. But I'm not being honest or completely accurate. For instance, last night I made the whole wheat pasta (1 cup = 4 pts), jarred sauce (1/2 cup = 1 pt.) and those meatballs (they were slammin) at 1 pt. a piece. The meatballs were small (I was supposed to get 30 out of them and I somehow wound up with about 40). I had decided ahead of time that I'd have 3 of them. Well I popped an additional 3 in my mouth without even blinking, and they never made it to the journal. Now I had the points for them, but if I want this to work I really need to be honest. We're having baked potatoes tonight, and in the beginning I weighed them to make sure they were 8 oz. or whatever they're supposed to be....and I haven't been doing that lately. I've also been bad with the BLT's, to coin a phrase from my friend Deanne, too many bites, licks and tastes.

So I've made a promise to myself to be more accurate, to be more honest with myself, starting today.

Last night after dinner Bob suggested I go to a movie or something. Me, not being one to pass up some Renee time, jumped at the chance. I went to see Bringing Down the House with Steve Martin and Queen Latifah. It was really entertaining, besides for the woman in front of me who had on waaaaay too much perfume, and the man behind me who sounded like a cow chewing his cud while he ate his popcorn. I think Queen Latifah is absolutely beautiful. She has the most beautiful skin.

I was supposed to be leaving for South Carolina today, driving the 700 miles by myself with the two kids. To say I wasn't looking forward to it would be a huge understatement. We had a last minute change of plans, and I will be flying out in a few weeks. It works out much better all around, I get to keep my sanity and I now have time to do the things that popped up this week.

The past few days have been hard. I haven't exercised since Friday, and my eating hasn't been stellar. I know I need to cut myself some slack with the holidays but really, it was only ONE day. I should have been back on track yesterday. I had some things to do today and I had absolutely no desire to get on that treadmill, but I finally quit my bellyaching and hopped on. That's the hardest part. Once I'm on I'm fine, and once I'm off I feel great. It's just GETTING on it. It felt good to put those activity points down in my journal. I feel back on track with my eating too which feels good. We're having whole wheat pasta for dinner and I'm making homemade meatballs (93% lean ground beef). I needed something quick because we were supposed to have t-ball practice tonight. The weather isn't that great though, and I thought t-ball might be cancelled (which made me happy because I don't really feel like freezing my fanny off for an hour and a half). But it's not really raining, it's just kind of miserable so I guess it's still on.

I put on some clothes again today. I put on my size 20W dockers, they fell off. ;o) Then I went digging in my closet. I found a 16W dress with matching sweater that still had the tags attached. I have NO idea when or what I bought it for. I tried it on and it was huge on me. What's sad is that I obviously bought it when I wasn't even at my heaviest. I don't intend to hang onto any of these clothes. I guess I'll probably sell them on eBay, unless I can find someone who wants them. I also found a "before" picture hidden in my drawer hat was taken in August of 2001. I'm in a sports bra that *barely* covers my boobs and a pair of athletic shorts. I probably gained another 20 pounds after that picture was taken. I'm tempted to take another full body shot in the same outfit to see what kind of progress I've made. I just have to work up the nerve first.

Easter is a lot like Christmas with DH's family. The kids got baskets from us with a toy in it, with a little bit of candy in them. They got tons of stuff (clothes, toys, more candy) from everybody else. I must destroy all those chocolate bunnies. They're evil and I hear them calling me to come bite their ears off and pop off their sugary little eyes.

All in all it was a wonderful holiday. Very laid back. We got a ton of stuff done around the house and had a wonderful meal. Both kids napped for about two hours (that's what happens when they wake up 5:45 in the blessed a.m.) and Bob and I played around the house. It was nice. I'm glad it's over though.

I rebelled this year and we're only going to the IL's *once* tomorrow, not twice. We'll head over there in the early morning and have breakfast, then we have the entire day to ourselves. I'm so excited. I'm making a great dinner, have it all pointed out and I'm looking forward to staying OP. I will have my Easter bread tomorrow, I only get it once a year so I do plan to indulge. But nothing else seems to be calling me, not even the chocolate.

Here's our menu for tomorrow:

Beef Tenderloin in a Merlot-Shallot Sauce (C/L) - 5 pts.
Pommes Anna (C/L) - 4 pts.
Green beans sauteed in olive oil with garlic (mine) - 2 pts.
Reduced fat crescent rolls - 2 pts.
White Russian Tiramisu (C/L) - 3 pts.

Breakfast should be easy. Hard boiled egg whites with hot sauce, baked fresh ham and my easter bread. Yummy.

Bob, my husband who can build houses and wire cities for electricity, didn't know that when you leave eggs in the microwave too long, they explode. He found out the hard way. ;o)

I had another great weigh-in. It's a testament to exercise I guess! I lost 1.8 lbs. for 36 total. I did get my 35 lb. star, and it felt great. I'm only 4 lbs. away from 40 lbs. I don't know...36 lbs. sounds like a decent amount of weight, but for some reason 40 seems like a monumental number. I'm 5.8 lbs. away from a new point range (ack!). I'm one pound away from a new decade on the scale. 2.4 pounds away from my half way point. And I'm only 14 lbs. away from the big 5-0. Incredible. Absofreakinglutely incredible.

I have weigh-in tomorrow and at this point, I'm a little nervous about it. Based on my home scale this morning, it could go either way, but I seriously doubt it's going to be the big loss I've been used to. But that's ok, right? It's also ok if I have a small gain. I had AF this week and had a major appetite. I also ate a few too many treats. Stayed within my points range, but did I really need to eat the mini Reese's peanut butter cups??? Man were they good. Hey, if I don't get my 35 lb. star this week, there's always next week! I did work out 5 times this week which rocks.

Tomorrow is going to be absolutely insane. I won't be able to report my tales from the scale until late Saturday afternoon.

And now I'll leave you with proof that I am a moron. I was baking brownies for the bake-sale tomorrow, so I decided to boil eggs ahead of time so we wouldn't have to do it tomorrow when we dye them. I put a pot of water on and put a dozen eggs in it. I turned the burner on, and went about my business stirring up the brownies. Then I heard cheeping from the pot. Cheep. Cheep. Cheep. Just like little chicks. I'm a rational person. I know that grocery store eggs are unfertizilized (and even if a ferizilized egg slipped through it would be a dead little uncheeping chick because it would need to be incubated right??? Not to mention that even if it was a live chick, I wouldn't hear it cheeping from inside the shell, but I digress). But the eggs WERE cheeping. I couldn't help it. I quickly pulled the pot off the burner and started removing all the eggs. I know the cheeping came from air escaping from tiny holes/cracks in the eggs but it sounded just like a baby chick. I had no choice. I had to make sure. See, a moron. Told ya.

Well I had a lovely dinner with my friends. They did notice the weight loss, but I think at first they were just thinking *something* was different about me. I think the straight hair and highlights threw them. But they did notice, and that was nice. It was great that they noticed the other, "inner" changes in me too.

I left the restaurant feeling incredibly empowered. This was my first real test. I didn't know their menu and couldn't plan ahead. I was so looking forward to having their Artichoke Hearts Francaise, and I had two small pieces and enjoyed every bite. They had a special tonight that was grilled shrimp over mesclun greens with roasted red peppers, blue cheese and red onions with a balsamic vinaigrette. I ordered that, except subbed grilled chicken instead of the sea critters (and didn't eat the blue cheese). And I didn't order dessert, even though they had it. I would have ordered tiramisu, but they were out. I considered it an omen, LOL. They had an incredible oreo chocolate mousse cake that looked devine but, I dunno, it just didn't seem worth it to me. I came home and had one of my Starbuck's frozen frappucino bars. Yummy and only 2 pts. Anyhoo, it felt great to make good choices. My dinner was really good, and I had just as good a time as I always do with them, despite not eating a high-calorie, high-fat meal. I think I used to focus on the food more than my friends to some extent. How sad is that? Tonight was different and a welcome change. And the best part, I didn't have to unbutton my pants on the way home. ;o) Hopefully the scales will reflect my saint-like behavior and reward me (though I think I may actually see a gain this week because my scale's not budging and I have AF to boot).

Now if A. hadn't of told me about the nightmare she had that I was stabbed to death while at an ATM, it would have been a perfect evening!

I'm heading to bed. I've been up since 4 a.m. with Joey, my butt hurts, I guess from the long car ride and sitting in the restaurant (I think it's cause I have less padding back there!), and I'm pooped as all get out. Night y'all.

Make that two break-ins yesterday. I saw the woman who was burglarized first at Kindergarten orientation today. She said that her neighbor was also burglarized yesterday. This person is really brazen. They must want to get caught or something. You'd think they'd pick another town. At least another neighborhood or street for that matter!

When I left for the school this afternoon two cop cars were on the cross street directly across from my house and the detectives were talking to the home owners. I hope they were just investigating and it wasn't another burglary.

Patti did tell me how they got in, so at least we can take measures to protect that entry. I generally never feel safe (although I don't lock up like a fortress like someone I know and love!), this just makes that ten times worse.

We had another break-in yesterday. There are exactly 3 houses between our house and the first house that got burglarized, and one house between us and the latest burglary. I feel terrible for my neighbor. She's a single mom raising two boys all by herself. She looked shell-shocked. I asked her if she was doing ok and she said told me she just felt violated. It's happening when I'm at home too, I just wish I had of been looking out my window at the right time and saw something. I am very thankful we have the Beez. It makes me feel better on some level. If anyone came near the house he would go nuts, and he sounds (and looks) like he'd rip your head off. People wouldn't know he's as sweet as he can be.

We have a busy day today. Joey has t-ball practice and I need to go buy him some cleats. We also have Kindergarten Orientation today. I'm making a london broil for dinner with steamed rice and green beans. It's beautiful out today, it'll be close to 80! Perfect day to grill a steak.

I called the midwife again this morning. I have my period for the third time in 5 weeks and it's really bad. It's not been this heavy before. They wanted me to try birth control pills to try and regulate it because I've had so many problems with short cycles, heavy bleeding, bleeding in between my periods...so I finally did (I've been dealing with this for well over a year now). I took them for 4 days. They made me completely psychotic. Off the wall nuts. I finally had to stop taking them because they were awful. I have no idea what they're going to try now but I hope there is something they can do.

I'm pooped! We had an incredibly busy day and got a lot of much needed stuff done. I spent an hour on the treadmill this morning, just to prove to myself that I could. Earned myself 4 AP's. I had the entire downstairs straightened up and then had the monumental task of cleaning off my desk. Our friend Bobby came over to have dinner and then install our new all-in-one thingamajiggy.

I served a Roasted Sticky Chicken, baked potatoes with sour cream and chives, a creamed spinach gratin and a corn, sweet onion and tomato salad with basil. Last night I made a chocolate-banana pudding with toffee for dessert and set it in the fridge to meld together. The guys ate it and deemed it yummy. I chose the recipe because I hate banana pudding, and therefore knew I wouldn't touch it, ;o). The spinach dish, salad dish and dessert were all Cooking Light recipes.

Bob did a lot of yardwork today and hopefully our lawn will start looking better. I know I was full of gloom over my daphodil's but those are some hearty litte flowers. They began to open up today. Wahoo! I didn't think it was going to happen after Monday's snow and ice.

I have a busy week ahead. We have Kindergarten orientation this week, I have a hair appointment, ice hockey clinic and t-ball practice. I'm driving down the shore to meet my two long-time friends for dinner Wednesday night. I'm really looking forward to it. I haven't seen them in a long time. I'm also looking forward to having Artichoke Hearts Francaise at the restaurant we're going to, though I'm a little freaked out about what else I'm going to eat. I tried to see if they were online and I could get hold of a menu, but they aren't. I always order the same thing, but I was hoping maybe they have something lighter, that way I can indulge in one or two pieces of the artichokes and then go easy with the rest of dinner. It's going to be hard, this restaurant has excellent tiramisu and we ALWAYS get dessert. I don't think I'm going to because Wednesday night is just cutting it close to weigh-in. I don't need the tiramisu joining me on the scale Saturday morning.

I have to hurry because I need to get ready for Joey's skating lesson. I lost 2.4 this week for a total of 34.2 lbs. I'm so excited! It was a fantastic meeting too. I love the leader, she's so darn funny and motivating.

I'm back to finish the rest of this entry. As I sit here in my size 14 Liz Claiborne jeans. Ack! I'm going to admit my size here now. When I started WW, I had one pair of jeans that sort of fit me. They were size 20W Lee's. They were so tight I never wore them, and when I did, I wore a huge shirt over it so you couldn't see how tight they were. So I guess I was probably really a 22W. I've been wearing my size 16 misses Levi's, and they fit nicely. I then found a pair of 14 Lees hiding away, and they fit even more comfortably than my 16 Levis. Today I put on my size 14 Liz's and they fit great too. Do you realize what this means????? I am an "average" woman. They say the average American woman is a size 14. Well I'm average, and pretty darn close to size 12 jeans!

I went shopping last night to look for a dress for a wedding coming up in 3 weeks. It was funny, in a comical, just-your-luck kind of way. I would find a dress that I liked and they would have it in a size 8, a 10, and a size 20W. When I needed the size 20's I could never find one! I wound up buying two, so I can ask those I love which they think looks best on me. I'll return the loser. :o)

Both are a size 16 Misses Petite (needed the 16 to fit my boobage). Both are roomy in the hip/belly area (I would probably even have the red one taken in, the black one I can live with). The red one is a two-piece, it has a jacket you can throw over it. The dress is a tank style, scoop neck short dress. Bright red, which I love. No sleeves, which I don't! It's the sexier of the two.

The black one is classic and made out of a lovely material. It has a rather high neck (covers my collar bones which are still in hiding but I have a feeling I may see them soon enough), short cap sleeves. The design changes toward the bottom. It is pretty long. I don't know...what are you supposed to wear to elongate you when you're short? Long or short?

I'm thrilled to pieces that I found something, and won't spend the next 3 weeks worrying whether I'll find something or not to fit me.

And can I just say...shopping in the Misses section KICKED ASS!!!

I have to clean up my house. It's a mess and my IL's are coming over to watch the kids tonight while Bob and I go see Yanni. I have about 5 loads of laundry to do, have to clean up the entire second floor and clean the bathroom downstairs. Luckily downstairs isn't too bad. DH vaccuumed and mopped last night (he's so good).

In honor of Yanni, tonight we're having Greek Meatballs with Lemon-Herb Orzos from Sept/98 Cooking Light (with a side of steamed green beans sauteed in a little olive oil and fresh minced garlic). Last night I made a Tomato-Basil Lasagna from CL. It was really good, and I'm so proud of myself for eating it. It has the wierdest ingredients in it (ok, it was wierd to me, I have food issues), but it was fantastic and once I got over what was in it, I was fine. I'm really freaky about the texture of my food and I wanted to barf when I opened up that nasty, chunky cottage cheese. Once it was blended with everything, it was the consistency of cake batter and didn't have that nasty cottage cheese smell (and looked, surprisingly, like ricotta cheese once it was baked). Bob really enjoyed it too. Here's the recipe:

Tomato Basil Lasagna with Prosciutto

Serving size: 1/9th of lasagna
6 points per serving

5 cloves garlic
16 oz. 1% low fat cottage cheese
4 oz. fat free cream cheese
1/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese
2 1/2 tsp dried basil
1/2 tsp. red pepper flakes
1 egg
1 jar fat free tomato basil pasta sauce (such as Muir Glen or Walnut Acres)
cooking spray
12 lasagna noodles, cooked al dente
4 oz. prosciutto, chopped (see note)
1 c. part skim shredded mozzarella cheese

Preheat oven to 375. Drop garlic through food chute with food processor running and pulse until minced. Add cottage cheese; process 2 min or until smooth. Add cream cheese, parmesan, basil, pepper, and egg. Process until well blended. Spread 1/2 c. pasta sauce in the bottom of a 9 x 13 pan coated with cooking spray. Arrange 3 noodles over pasta sauce. Repeat layers two times, ending with noodles. Spread remaining pasta sauce over noodles. Sprinkle with remaining 2 T. of parmesan cheese and the mozzarella. Cover and bake at 375 for 45 min or until sauce is bubbly. Uncover and bake an additional 15 min. Let stand 5 min before cutting.

Yield: 9 servings

Cal=272; Fat=5.6g; Fiber=2.1g; Sodium=775mg; Calcium=213mg

NOTE: I used about a 1/2 tsp. of dried basil in the cheese mixture, and then added thin strips of fresh basil in the layers. Yummy.

Our neighbor's house was broken into yesterday (Biggie...it was Patty O. from HR at HLR). The detectives came to ask us if we had seen anything because they could tell it was only one person (we had snow on the ground) and it looks like they may have gotten away through our backyard. I don't see that as very likely, considering they'd have to jump a couple of 5 ft. fences, and would have made noise doing so. Our dog would have gone apeshit. I feel bad for the family, how scary is that to come home and realize someone has been in your house and has taken your things??? And I remembered this morning that they have a dog...I've always felt safer because we have the Beez and he goes nuts anytime anyone approaches the house, but I guess it didn't deter this guy. Scary. The detective told us to make sure we kept the doors locked because these guys tend to exhaust the neighborhood before moving on.

I have a horrendous headache that I can't shake. I woke up at 3:00 a.m. this morning and was unable to get back to sleep. And Bob just called to say he's working late. I don't think there's a snowball's chance in hell my daphodil's are going to survive the snow/ice we got. I desperately need to get to the grocery store. I have no fresh veggies at all, and I'm completely broccoli/cauliflowered out, which is the only thing I have in my freezer.

Blah.

Oh good grief. What have I gotten myself into?

Over the past few days I've gone through Cooking Light 2000 (which I now own) and Cooking Light 1998 (borrowed from the Library) with my points finder. I wound up with 120 recipes that look and sound delicious that are points-worthy. I kept a list in my notebook noting the Month/Year it appeared, page number, recipe name and points per serving. I want to organize all 120 by category. 2000 isn't a problem, because I own it. However 1998 is an issue. I tried going through CL's website and searching for the recipes, going to printer version, copying and pasting into a new word document. It's going to take me forever. I think I should probably just shell out the money and try to get one on eBay. I could just keep my list and go search for it when I'm ready, but they all sound so good and I'm afraid they'll pull them. There must be an easier way!!!

I walked for 50 minutes on the treadmill this morning. Since it's F*&$ing snowing (covering all my just-blooming daphodil's too, waaaaah), I doubt I'll get to Curves tonight. At some point today I'm going to do some stretching as well as basic stuff with my free weights. I'll work my triceps, bi's and do some lateral raises. I'm also going to *ATTEMPT* to do some crunches, but I'm askeered. I don't think I've done one since high school. I need to start working this lower belly though. I'll probably throw in some leg lifts/squats too. I hate when I don't get to go to Curves. I need to find my 8 minute in the Mornings workout. I have it printed out somewhere, and it seems to be a great program. I did some gentle stretching last night right before I got in bed. I used to be so flexible. I could grab my feet with my hands and rest my forehead on my knees and hang out there like it was nothing. I'm no where close now! I would really like to start working on my flexibility too.

I had some (about 3 oz.) of leftover turkey breast for lunch with a plate full of steamed broccoli. Could I have chosen more gassier foods????? Yikes.

I'm so sad about David Bloom. On one of the early days of the war I was watching him riding along with those men and had an eery feeling that he was going to die there. I mean that's not a stretch, he WAS smack dab in the middle of it, but still. I was so sad to see it really had happened. I'm a big NBC and Today Show fan, and enjoyed watching him on Weekend Today. He always struck me as a kind man.

I'm in such a funky mood. I had a horrible, horrible dream the other night and it's still pretty fresh. Most of the details are now fuzzy except for the worst part. These bad men hurt Lauren. They purposely sliced her feet with barbed wire right in front of me as I was screaming "please don't hurt my baby" and I can still hear her scream. I cringe every time I think of it and the hair raises on my arms. I'm sorry to be graphic, but it's been two days now and it still has me shaken up. I'm hoping that writing it down will help me to let go of it. I haven't had a nightmare like that in a long, long time.

Daylight savings time bites big, green monkey you-know-what. Lauren, as chipper as she can be WAY too early this morning, "Mama! One, two WAKEUP, it's no dark out no mo!".

We're also getting snow tomorrow. 4-6 inches is what they're predicting I think. In April. Seriously, it needs to quit it. Enough already.

Uh oh...you better duck and take cover. My reflections on losing 30+ lbs. coming up. ;o)

When I joined WW this time around, I didn't plan on succeeding. I went because I felt like I had no other choice, that I had to at least try or I was afraid of where I'd wind up. I really felt like I was a heart attack waiting to happen. And that scared me. In the first three weeks the things that kept me motivated where the weekly weigh-ins -- I tend to drop weight rather quickly at first and being down almost 10 lbs. in 3 weeks was very motivating. The other thing that kept me going was the support I got. I feel very blessed to have the online community that I do, I really cherish the support I've gotten from many of you. I am also blessed to have the best friend in the whole wide world, who will listen to me yammer on and on about this topic and never makes me feel like I'm boring her to tears. She was there encouraging me on Week 3 when I finally opened up my weight book and saw how badly I had abused my body. She is one of the very few people who knows what that number was. She lifted me up and didn't let me dwell on the number. I don't think she has any idea how blessed I feel to have her. And if I wasn't blessed enough, I have a husband who supports me 110%. Every week he cheers my success, he tries not to let me obsess too much, he compliments me on my cooking, and he compliments me. He notices where I've lost the weight, and points it out so that I'm forced to notice it too. He doesn't ever bring home junk food, he makes a point not to eat something in front of me that he thinks I'll be drooling over, he encourages me to exercise. He makes it a point to be home for me to go work out and to attend WW meetings. And best of all, when it's all said and done...he really doesn't care. He still loved me when I was over 200 lbs. He doesn't love me any less, and he doesn't love me anymore. He's happy that I'm doing this because he knows that I'm MUCH happier with myself.

The keys to my success so far...I think I've talked about it before but oh well, I'm going to talk about it again!

Water - I drink 8-10 glasses (sometimes 12-14) of water a day. Fills me up, keeps me peeing. Enough said.
Journal - I journal every day. Yesterday I wrote the last entry in my first 12 week food diary. Today I started a new one. It keeps me really accountable and aware of what I'm eating. This is what really keeps me eating in my point range.
Eating in my Points Range - I'm not sure if this is smart or not, but this is what I've been doing and it's been working so far. I'm sure at some point in the near future I'll have to re-evaulate. On weigh-in day I eat at the very high end of my points 27+10 banked points = 37 points). I use this day to pretty much eat whatever I'm craving for dinner, whether it's pizza, chinese food or a big fat juicy burger). I eat to the high of my point range on Sunday. On Mondays-Wednesdays I eat around my mid. I eat at my low range on Thursday and Fridays. On Fridays I have very few carbs. I usually eat tuna over a salad for lunch and grilled chicken and grilled veggies or over a salad for dinner). Like I said, it may not be proper, it may not work for everybody, but for me it works for right now. I can count on one hand how many days I've gone over my points range, and it's never been more than 2 pts.
Planning my meals - I plan all my meals for the week on Sunday morning and shop Sunday night. I make sure that I choose at least 2 "easy" meals, that I can either prepare ahead or throw in the crockpot when I know we have a busy day. I cook a wide variety of food, use fresh ingredients and usually shop again in the week for veggies so they're fresh. I plan my one "free" meal and look forward to it. I try new recipes often. Really often! It keeps things interesting and I don't feel like I'm in a rut and eating the same stuff over and over again.
Eating what I love/Staying away from what I hate - I won't eat something I don't enjoy. I don't care if it's only 2 pts, if I don't like it I'm not going to eat it. I find substitutes for the things that I love or I eat the full-fat version, except I'll only have a small portion of it. My body has really changed over the past 12 weeks, and what I consider a serving now is much different (smaller) than a serving before. I can now eat a 1/2 cup of rice and be satisfied. I eat a lot more veggies. I know my tastes have changed too because I've started to eat things (and enjoy them!) that I wouldn't have touched before. I tried squash again and I liked it, go figure!
Weighing/Measuring - Yup, I still do this. I know this is one factor that really turns some people off to WW, but it's really not a big deal to me. Just a few more things to wash. I am getting pretty good at eye-balling, so I don't always measure, but more often than not I do. It was really helpful in the beginning in helping me to learn portion control.
Reading inspirational websites - I'll share some of these later.

I know I'm going to face some challenges along this journey. At some point in time I might hit a plateau. I'll have to remember to be patient till I get through it. Things may slow down, and at some point I'll probably have to switch around the routine I'm so comfortable with. I'll have to find ways to keep motivated when things aren't so "new" anymore and things slow down. I know that the end is near with my gram, and I know when my grandfather died I was a basket case for a long time. I'm sure I'm going to want to turn to my old ways to comfort myself. I'm still learning NOT to turn to food in times of stress/grief, etc. And at some point in time (which at this point is a long, long way away), I'm going to have to learn to maintain my weight loss. But one thing at a time, I need to get to goal first. ;o) And the part that is unbelievably thrilling, I know I'm going to get there this time.

So that's me, 31.8 pounds lighter.

I got my 30 lb. star. Lost 3 lbs. this week for a total of 31.8. I'm almost at my half way point for my WW goal. Woohoo!

I keep catching glimpses in the mirror and startling myself. I guess I really am starting to notice the changes in my face. I think I've lost at least one of my four chins. ;o) It happened again before and surprised me, but I was thankful for the little jolt because I've been feeling incredibly fat this week. My scale crept up, my pants felt tighter. I've also been pretty hungry the past two days, so I've been trying to eat a little more than I normally would in the hopes of satisfying my appetite. I didn't work out today (had all plans to but just didn't) and was beating myself up about NOT doing it. Then I remembered that I worked out every day this week so far, and will be at Curves tomorrow. I can take one day off!

I hit the library today and picked up some cookbooks. I've mostly just skimmed through them, but I think I may purchase the Weight Watchers book called Dining with the Duchess. It seemed to have a lot of things I enjoy in it. I also picked up Cooking Light's 1998 Annual Recipes which has at least 2 or 3 things I'd like to try and I'm only 20 pages into it. And last, but not least, I picked up one of Lidia's cookbooks. I don't know why I torture myself so.

What a busy day, I'm looking forward to putting on my pj's and climbing in bed with my Dean Koontz book (which I can read tonight because DH is home...I freak myself out when I read stuff like that when I'm alone).

I went to Curves today and went around 5 times. It was a much older crowd, none of the teeny bopper workers were there and they had on 50's and 60's music. I had a kickin time. ;o)

I also got to go grocery shopping all by myself and it was so nice and peaceful. It's sad when you consider grocery shopping alone "time for yourself", LOL. I enjoyed it anyway. I bought some Easter junk for the kids baskets, but bought all stuff I can't stand. They're not getting that much anyway, they each got a package of Peeps, an egg with Skittles in it and some Jelly Bellies. I keep thinking I should buy them a small chocolate bunny but I doubt they'd last long with me around. First I'd bite off their little ears, then their little heads....you get the picture. It's not safe for them to be here, LOL.

Tonight I bought Starbuck's low-fat mocha java ice cream bars (or something to that affect). OMGoodness, they are the yummiest things ever. 2 pts., and I ate it slowly and enjoyed every bite of it.

Stolen shamelessly from Rhonda:

I am 17% evil. Take the test :: koolplace.com

I walked on the treadmill Sunday morning. My socks were annoying me so I stupidly removed them and kept walking. I developed a nice blister. It didn't really hurt yesterday morning, so I got on the treadmill again (with socks this time). Oy. The blister popped and boy did it hurt. I could barely get my shoes on. I couldn't do my grocery shopping (DH went out last night to get me through till Wednesday). I did go to Curves with my toes all wrapped up trying to put a buffer between the toe and my sneaker. I couldn't march, I just did leg lifts and bends on the cardio boxes and gimped along to each piece of equipment.

I was so upset knowing I wouldn't be able to go on the treadmill today (I thought about it and Bob told me to just let it heal). It's important for me to do exercise on Tuesday and Thursday because I don't get to Curves those days. Bob suggested I do my Richard Simmons tape instead. I did it this morning. I forgot how much you sweat just from the simple activity of lifting your arms over your head! So I'm pleased that I didn't let this tiny, but painful as all getout, blister derail me from exercising this morning.